Cloth Diapers!

So I am sure many of you have heard that cloth diapering is a WHOLE different ballgame that what our mothers are used to and know. There are tons and tons of options out there and for anyone planning on staying at home the time needed to wash them really isn't anything over the top. Although I am not sure if I would use them if I was working outside of the home I know many women do and love them and their daycare providers will use them as well.

I finally have my "starting stash" completed and I thought I would share it here. These things are just SO darn cute. I am so excited to use them, and the hubby is also totally on board with using them, which is of course great!If anyone wants more information on cloth diapering I highly recommend the sites, www.diaperpin.com and www.diaperswappers.com.

The difference a few weeks make

Merry Christmas!

Missy over at Scarlet Baby posted this and I thought I would join in on the fun.

If you want to join in just copy this entire post. Change all the answers so that they apply to you. Then post this on your blog.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Both! For kids definitely wrapping paper as part of the fun is ripping the paper off. Or when my grandma was alive slowly using a scissors to cut the tape,and then slowly unwrapping the gift so that you could fold the paper and use it again:) For adults and awkward shaped things like bottles of wine, definitely gift bags.

2. Real tree or Artificial? REAL!!! Absolutely nothing beats a real tree. I can't stand fake. I think especially since it is so cold in MN and surprisingly this year in Germany real just fits much better as well.

3. When do you put up the tree? The last weekend in November or the first weekend in December. A little tidbit for everyone: Did you know most Germans put their tree up on Christmas Eve? I hate that tradition, and we don't and won't follow it. They also don't celebrate that Santa comes over night, they celebrate mainly on the 24th and open presents then. Another tradition which we won't be passing on.

4. When do you take the tree down? Normally right around New Years.

5. Do you like eggnog? Not really but I love Glühwein- mulled wine, which you get at all the Christmas Markets here in Germany.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? Mall Madness. It was a board game and I wanted it for 2 consecutive years. The first year I didn't get it for Christmas I was SHOCKED. How could Santa do this to me? When I got it the year after I was thrilled and made my mom play it with me for hours on end. It was actually much more difficult then it sounds it was sort of like a time management board game.

7. Hardest person to buy for? The hubby! He buys everything he really wants for himself just so, so it is always difficult to figure out what to get him.

8. Easiest person to buy for? Myself LOL. Most family.

9. Do you have a nativity scene? Nope I'm agnostic and the hubby is atheist, it would be a bit weird ;)

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail- and it was expensive to send them to the States but worth it. If you are reading this mom I forgot to send you one!!!! I sent one to all your siblings and forgot you, I'm super sorry it wasn't on purpose. I'll try to send one out soon for you:)

11. Worst Christmas ever? I don't know Christmas is almost always wonderful:)

12. Favorite Christmas Movie(s)? White Christmas, Christmas in Connecticut, cheesy Hallmark, ABC family and lifetime Christmas movies.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Normally December but if I see something that I know someone will like, then earlier.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Yep- all the time. The hubby hates it because I recycle all gifts that I don't think we can use BUT I don't like clutter and I don't believe in storing something that another person could actually use and appreciate. I also normally don't have a reason to recycle Christmas presents- most people know us well enough:)

15 .Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Sweets!

16. Lights on the tree? Yep- colored and white are my favorite. The hubby prefers plain white.

17. Favorite Christmas song? hmmm not sure I have a favorite.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Stay home.BUT we are going to start doing one year here, next year in the States with my mom.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? No I bet I would miss one.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? 1 present from family Christmas Eve, the rest and all the presents from Santa on Christmas morning!

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? Certain relatives ;)

23. Favorite ornament theme or color? We have such a crazy mix and that is just how I like it. Handmade, wood, stuffed, glass, etc.

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? We never really did Christmas dinner, the in-laws do meat fondue which I think is boring. I am making whole trout for us this year and next year I will do carp.

25. What do you want for Christmas this year? Nothing:) Really I have everything I want or need this year. Although I do sincerely hope that all the ladies I know here on the Web and in real life who have been trying and praying for a successful pregnancy have this wish fulfilled in 2010.

If you play, please leave me the link so I can read your answers.

Stretch Marks

As you all know this is my first pregnancy. I have always been prepared to get stretch marks since my mom has them and they are hereditary, but I have to say that I totally wasn't ready to get some so early.

I have them ALL OVER. ALREADY. AT 27 STUPID WEEKS. The ones below my belly button are at least clearish but the ones above are dark red and look like bruises.

Honestly this is hard for me to deal with. Weight gain,pimples, etc are all no problem as I know they will go away with time but these are with me for life. I was hoping to just have them pop up in the last week or two so that I was quickly so engrossed with baby Theodor to care. But clearly nature had other plans.

Now I get to spend the next three months watching my stomach go from smooth and pretty to covered with scars. Yay!

I am guessing that after a few days I will be OK with how my stomach looks now and will have moved on but noticing them in the mirror today really hurt.

Thankfully I still feel pretty when my belly is covered- here is a picture for 27 weeks.The flash made my bra visible- but it wasn't in person:D

Vacation

We went away for a week and it was amazing. I know some women get nervous about flying or traveling long distances during pregnancy but if you have the possibility to get away and you are having a healthy pregnancy, I HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend it. I felt so good! Relaxed and happy and pretty:) If we could go away every month up until the birth I totally would LOL. Here is a pic of me from the trip.

We have renovations going on in January and then I can finally start on the nursery. I am slowly amassing all the things I need, and am happy to say that I am almost done purchasing all the cloth diapers we will need for the first few months. I'm hoping to have everything purchased and ready by the second week of February. We'll see!

New Movie!

I think this movie looks so great- I wish it came out before April so that DH and I could watch it together before Theodor comes but I figure it will make a fun date for after he is born. The first scene cracks me up because I know a sibling pair that was just like this- too cute!

24 weeks

Hmmm, can't really hide the belly anymore :D

Looking Back

I'm at 23 weeks in my pregnancy and I am feeling wonderful. So wonderful in fact that I have started to enjoy looking back. I have gone over the posts I made while waiting to try and have looked at my chart from the cycle that led to little Theodor. I have looked back at the first pregnancy test pictures, and the ultrasounds, and the (lets be honest non-existent belly) belly shots, and it is still a bit unbelievable for me.

I mean I feel Theodor kicking away constantly and my stomach definitely looks pregnant now but I still sometimes have trouble believing that in a few months my husband and I will really be a family of three.

It has been a lot of fun to remember the feelings of excitement when I got my first positive test and to reminisce on the weeks which have gone by. The morning sickness is now a vague memory for me which I of course didn't think would be possible, and I am really starting to realize that there isn't all that much time left before we meet our son.

Wow. Our son. I don't think I could say that aloud yet. We'll see how I feel in a few months.

22 Weeks

Wow, more then halfway through:)

So much love

I grew up with a mom who always, always told me she loved me. So it is still normal for me to say I love you all the time to the people whom I love- mainly my husband and my mom, and most recently Theodor.

It is crazy how much I already love him. It is almost as if I can feel my heart expanding just for him. He already means so much to me and makes me happy just by squirming around and sleeping. To feel such strong emotions towards someone who I have never met and really know nothing about was a bit of a surprise. But really there is absolutely no way that he could not exceed all of my expectations and hopes, as he already is absolutely perfect.

This is turning out to be such a wonderful journey filled with so many great emotions. I can't imagine how it will be when he actually arrives and becomes a more active member of our family.
I can't wait.

Pregnancy Crack

I recently received my BabyWalz catalog in the mail. It is filled with 450 pages of baby gear, or as I lovingly refer to it "pregnancy crack". It contains everything that you could possibly need for baby from many different brands and I think I am in love.

Since we can't get started on the nursery until renovations are completed- and started, I have only been able to highlight the things I love and will have to wait to purchase them until the new year.

However there are a few products which I will be buying from the States. These items all have to be purchased before Christmas so that my sweet sister in law and her husband can bring them back for me when they visit family in December.

One product which I have purchased and can't wait to receive is my diaper bag.

I have a large bag right now and have a ton in it so I knew my diaper bag needed to be as least as large as my normal purse. I also am one of those people who does try to look good and cute everyday, although I will admit to getting more lax about this as I have aged and gotten really sick of feeling cold in the winter. Unfortunately my favorite items in terms of looking good and being easy- summer dresses, nice tank and skinny jeans- just do not cut it when it gets cold here. Plus I have been a bit dismayed to find out that even my tights are too tight now due to the lovely little Theodor causing my stomach to expand! I have actually cut the waistbands on some so that they don't pinch. Thankfully my dresses still cover the bump as I still feel like 5 months is just so early to start having to wear maternity tops! I don't want to buy a whole new wardrobe yet!

But I am getting off track. Mainly I just am trying to say that while it was important that my diaper bag be highly functional it was also pretty darn important that it be cute. So this is what I chose.

The skip hop studio tote in champagne.


The reviews I have heard from other mothers and on Amazon were great and I can't wait to finally be able to use it!

Here are the product details in case anyone wants to know more besides the fact that it is cute;)

• 14 pockets & zip-top closure (big enough for most laptops)
• Zip pocket protected by Agion®
• Two roomy insulated side bottle pockets
• Quilted cushioned changing pad
• Water-resistant inside & out
• PVC-free, eco-friendly materials
• Snap-down front pocket lets you stash a blanket/bib underneath
• Nickel feet keep STUDIO off the ground & scuff-free
• Hangs neatly on a stroller & can be worn over the shoulder

20 weeks!

Wow! We are halfway there. I think both my husband and I are still in awe and shock when it comes down to it.I mean in just a few months we are going to have a baby boy with us. It is so incredible and exciting and I am so so thankful that so far this has been such a pleasant ride for us. See how easy it is to forget terrible morning sickness? Mother nature is a very strong thing indeed. Here are some pics of me at the halfway mark.

Family distance

Time has started to fly and sometimes I find it overwhelming and sometimes I find it exciting. One of the hardest things for me to deal with is just the fact that my mom is thousands of miles away.

I try to remind myself that even if I lived in the U.S. I would not see her very often unless I had stayed in the same city as her after high school which I doubt, but it can still be frustrating to think about having to spend half a grand just to see her for a few weeks.

However I have been talking to my husband about my "ideal plan" for when the baby comes and that includes two visits a year to my mom in the States some visits with my husband and some visits without- mainly due to the big money factor and the fact that he needs to work, and her visiting us once a year here. This will end up to about 9 weeks give or take of great quality time for us with grandma and in the end I have to think that that is more then many kids get.

I also hope to be able to send kids to "grandma" for summer breaks when they get older. Summer break is only 6 weeks here so not the three months that people are used to in the States but I don't think I could handle more then 6 weeks without my (future tee hee) children anyway.

So what do you think of my solution? Would you do something different? Moving isn't an option.

Theodore

So I think that finding out the sex and seeing our healthy baby really helped make Theodore even more "real" for us.

We purchased our first outfit specially for -him-. It is incredible to think that our little baby boy will actually be wearing it in the near future.

It is also wonderful to watch my husband get excited for the child who will be entering our lives. He asked yesterday if the baby could sleep with us. Not all the time but for naps and on the weekend as he thought it would be pretty awesome. Of course I said yes. I have trouble sleeping when people are touching me though so I think we will probably end up getting one of those bassinets that goes next to the side of the bed and is like a half circle. They normally have railing on one side and since the baby still has it's own space I think I would feel better about it, and hopefully still be able to sleep.

Although who are we kidding I am sure hours of my life will be taken up with just staring at Theodore while he is sleeping. I can't wait.

The "Big" one

So we had the "big" appointment today and it went great.

First the doctor showed us the heart and said it looked perfect just as it should, then we saw the ribs and spine- it is crazy how much you can see and how "human" it looks now. She also showed us that it had a full bladder and open mouth which shows that the digestion process is working correctly-but I am sure you all don't care about that LOL.

She asked if we wanted to know the sex and we said yes- she said at this point girl's vaginal lips are pronounced so it can look like testicles but it looks like you are having a girl, although I am not sure yet - and she kept looking for a better angle. I was thrilled!

Then DH said but what is that? and she laughed and said the umbilical cord:D

But then about 3 seconds later she said- oh no that is most definitely a boy :D And little Theodore showed us his package a few times after that and she was even able to get a picture so we are most definitely having a boy LOL. The doctor thought it was so cute that I was so excited when I thought it was a girl and a boy- but how could I not be when it is our first?!

We are both thrilled. I thought that it was what we were having but then I thought that I would have to be wrong so probably girl:D We will also be going to a 3/D U/S place in the next few weeks just to check for a cleft since my doctor can't tell about that but as of now everything looks great and we are having a healthy boy:D

18 weeks

Baby is starting to make their presence known.

Nervous

So the big u/s is officially a week away and I am scared. We have names picked out for both sexes and I will be thrilled if it is a boy or a girl, so that is not what I am nervous about. I am nervous about being one of the one in a thousand or ten thousand or twenty thousand who gets the news that something does not look right.

I know the chances are slim but that doesn't keep me from having a general feeling of dread about the day. I am trying really hard to focus on the positive- like the fact that I am feeling the baby all the time now. Which is absolutely wonderful and I am sure it is baby's way of telling me that they are doing just fine but unfortunately my brain won't shut off. I've read the statistics and stories and know what is possible and will probably not be able to calm down until the ultrasound is over next Wednesday.

Any positive thoughts you all can share are appreciated.

Update

So I have been away on vacation but haven't been doing too much.

Mainly eating:)



Here are some belly pics to catch up.

15 Weeks

16 Weeks

Next up in baby news is taking a tour, doing info night, signing up for prenatal classes and for registering to have my birth at the local birth center. I can't wait!

13 Weeks

2nd Trimester! Woo hoo! To celebrate we went out to lunch, and saw Final Destination 4- it was great:D

On cloud 9

I love Emmaljunga strollers. I have been lusting after the Emmaljunga Edge Duo Combi for months. I knew well before we even got pregnant that I had to have one. I didn't care that they costed 900 euros I just had to have it.

Thankfully a certain site called E.bay exists so I was able to find the pram I wanted for about half the going retail price. I have been watching auctions for months now, often not bidding because the pram was too old, not the right color scheme, etc or bidding and losing, but yesterday the miracle of all miracles happened... I got my dream pram!

It is a year and a half old looks new and the exact color scheme I wanted. It features SO much it is ridiculous, however if you really want ridiculous you should check out the opening videos on the Emmal website. Definitely good for some laughs! If you then click UK and English you can find my stroller on the bottom right hand corner.





We are picking it up in two weeks and I can't wait. I am already in love:)

12 Weeks

Baby needs just enough room to make mommy look chubby around the tummy area... mommy hopes baby grows just a bit more so that other people know she is pregnant at the fitness club.
Mommy admits that she is vain and shallow and that she would never consider someone else chubby who only had a bit of a healthy normal stomach. Mommy holds herself to other standards however- crazy, pregnancy stomach standards LOL.

Coke, Coffee, Subway, and Hot Dogs

These are all things I have consumed in the past week. Clearly I am not to strict when it comes to food rules- although to be honest I have strong doubts when it comes to some of the things doctors suggest in the States. I feel like they think pregnant women are to stupid to do anything in moderation so they just forbid it to make things easier for themselves.

Case in point- caffeine: All studies have only shown a risk if you consume medium to high amounts of caffeine- there is absolutely no affect on the baby if you consume small amounts. So one cup of coffee a day is just fine, a coke is also OK but there is a ton of sugar in them which is of course just plain unhealthy. Doctors here say caffeine is fine in small amounts and I am glad that I can still enjoy the occasional cappuccino.

The lunchmeat thing- Now the big danger here is listeriosis which is incredibly dangerous to a pregnant woman. At the same time the current amount of cases in Germany per year are incredibly low- about 200. I guess I would never start eating lunch meat every day just to see what my chances are but I also won't feel bad about eating Subway once a month. I also read that salami and salted meats are a bit safer, which works in my favor since they are personal favorites of mine.

I don't like cold hot dogs or "bratwurst" so I am always heating them up anyway thus negating the terrible, terrible danger lurking behind the colorful packaging of wieners and franks.

Sushi and fish- Do Japanese pregnant women stop eating sushi and fish? I would really like to know because I think cutting down on fish and tuna sucks. I normally only eat sushi about once or twice a year so I will probably keep up with that crazy high number even during pregnancy but I have to admit that I have been avoiding fish and I am not sure why. Can someone tell me why fish should only be consumed seldomly? As of right now I am eating salmon or tuna about once every 2 weeks but I would love to start eating it every week again...

Sometimes I think I am an awful pregnant woman especially when my most recent meal is doritos but then I remember the chicken pesto with a homemade tomato sauce and linguine that I made for lunch and the fact that I am walking or working out almost every day,and think, "hey- maybe I am just a normal pregnant woman who likes tasty food":D

U/S appt

Today was big appointment for me. There are three big U/S check-ups during the pregnancy here in Germany and today at 10 weeks 1 day (or so I thought;) was one of them.

It was AMAZING. I wish I had thought to make a video with my cell phone because it was just so cool to see our little baby moving all around, waving, kicking its cute little feet,and you know- not looking like a blob:D

Baby is doing great and I got good news- I'm actually farther along then I thought. My new due date is March 18th! That means I hit 11 weeks tomorrow. Woo hoo!

Here are the two pics she printed out for us-sorry that they aren't the best ones. Just imagine the cutest little baby ever and that is what the U/S looked like in person:D :D




I also got medication for my acid/indigestion problem, and iron pills since I am low on iron. Hopefully these will help with my energy as well!

10 weeks

Ultrasound pic to hopefully follow after appt tomorrow.

I feel sick most of the time but feel like it is easing up. I throw up every few days, sometimes it is awful throwing up everything in my stomach and sometimes it is over quickly and not that bad.

I do have a stomach though which is a bit fun for me. With most of my clothes you would never notice but I feel it when I wear jeans- am using the rubber band trick, and the lovely husband noticed right away:D

Recipes

Some of you have asked for recipes for food that I have made and I thought I would let you in on my little secret.

http://allrecipes.com/

Now I cook pretty much everything from scratch, and focus on healthy fresh ingredients, and while I don't want to offend anyone a lot of the recipes on allrecipes are disgustingly unhealthy.

There are recipes filled with so much fat, butter, and processed products that I can't imagine feeding it to myself let alone a child BUT there is just such a huge amount of recipes, all with reader reviews that you can't go wrong. I also have no problem cutting ingredients or switching them out for healthier alternatives when needed.

There are many meals where I don't need a recipe, or I have a great cookbook, but some things I am unsure about it and allrecipes is the perfect starting spot.

For example I have gotten an AMAZING chili recipe from the site, one which features coffee and beer- two ingredients that really add to chili but which I never would have thought to use on my own. I also found a great beer cheese soup recipe which reminded me of home in the Midwest, same goes for a yummy ceaser dressing recipe that included the anchovies, and tasted amazing. With a little searching you can find a good recipe for almost anything- although I do find it to be somewhat lacking when it comes to ethnic dishes, but I have other sources for those anyways.

So I encourage everyone to check it out. Don't get overwhelmed though, there is so much great stuff on the site that it can become addicting:)

Oh and the best part- it is all free!

Belly Pics

So I am officially 8 weeks today. Woo hoo!

I though that I could post some belly pics to show how much I have grown- basically not at all . Tee hee.

The hubby has noticed some changes but really if I have gained it hasn't been more then a pound due to the morning sickness, plus I think the week 4 and week 8 picture are pretty much identical but you can tell me if you disagree.

The chest has gotten a bit bigger but not so much that I need a new bra or anything like that. I'm not disappointed that my stomach has not really gotten bigger yet. I just hope that there is enough room for the baby- yes I realize it is the size of a raspberry right now- I mean for later :D

Names

You're pregnant? Wow. Congrats.

DO YOU HAVE A NAME PICKED OUT ALREADY??!!!

DUN DUN DUN.

I love planning so of course even before we were TTC I had a spreadsheet with names I liked. I even went through a baby book with 40,000 names and highlighted all the ones I thought were nice or interesting and then added them to my spreadsheet. (Not in one day of course).

But I don't get to pick the name---- "we" get to pick the name. We are both strong willed and have very clear ideas when it comes to what we like in names. Thankfully we both tend to like some things; unique, not popular, but not made up by us, etc. and we have agreed on the right to veto. If the other person doesn't like a name -for whatever reason- then it can't be used. It's as simple as that.

However this still leads to long conversations where a list containing over 50 names will be shot down.

We are planning on just waiting until we find out the sex before discussing it further but I have to admit that even though I know it will be hard, I am really looking forward to picking out a name.Plus it is probably good that I have the hubby around to keep me from going a bit too gung ho and naming the child something like Atlas- yep I actually considered the name of the Greek god who carried the earth on his shoulders :D

I highly recommend this site, http://www.nymbler.com/ for anyone searching for names. It takes into account names that you like and suggests other names which you might like. Her other site, baby name wizard is also good for looking up the stats on a name.

7 weeks 1 day

and this is all I have to show for it :D :D



There was a nice strong heartbeat, and baby is measuring in at 1.1 cm,my new due date is March 23rd. The doctor said everything looks great and that I have nothing to worry about. Thanks for all the positive thoughts everyone I really appreciate it!

Mac and Cheese

We have our next appointment tomorrow and I am absolutely terrified. This is the appointment where we should be able to see a heartbeat, if we don't see it something is definitely wrong and I am just so scared that we won't see one.

I haven't had any spotting but I know that you can still miscarry without spotting. I still feel sick after eating and before, but there could still be pregnancy hormones floating around even if I wasn't technically pregnant anymore. I still get exhausted easily and sometimes lightheaded but this could also occur even if something had gone wrong.

So with all these fun thoughts floating around in my head, I did the only thing I could. I made homemade macaroni and cheese with real butter and way too many calories.

It tasted good and even though I was only able to finish half a bowl before feeling sick it did make me feel a bit better. The hubby is sure that we are going to have a great appointment tomorrow. I sure hope so. I try to remind myself that the odds are in my favor even if it sometimes doesn't feel like it and that helps. Pregnancy can be so scary but I know hearing the heartbeat will make me forget all of this. So if anyone has good vibes, prayers, etc to spare it would be great if you could send some my way, if you are ever in the area I will even make you some ridiculously unhealthy mac and cheese :)

Morning Sickness Remedies

Since I was complaining in my last post about my awful morning sickness I thought it might be nice if I posted what I tried and if it worked for me or not.

Thankfully I am feeling a whole lot better, which is of course worrisome,but since I still feel a bit sick to my stomach I am just trying to take it that something is working.

So here is what I tried and what I thought of it,

Eating small meals all the time: Did not work for me. My nausea was made much worse by having food in my stomach. I think I also have some heartburn so that might have played a role as well. Basically anytime I ate more then a few nuts or pieces of popcorn I started to feel much worse. Although eating a lot also made me feel sick. For me I just had to eat very very little and very bland things to feel better. Many times I couldn't get through an apple before wanting to gag, so I didn't.

Ginger: Did not work for me. I tried ginger tea, ginger root, and ginger candies- the candies were gross (ginger is spicy), the tea tasted nice but didn't make me feel better,and the root was too spicy. Basically I felt exactly the same after taking these things.

Taking the prenatal at night Not sure. I started taking it at night, and then switched to a Flinstones vitamin, and yesterday actually forgot it for the first time, and today I feel the best I have felt in over a week. Although I am not sure if they are related. I took a Flinstones this morning to make up for forgetting last night and so far only have very mild nausea.

Drinking lots of water: I don't know that this does anything for nausea but since I haven't had to throw up I have been doing this without problem.

Eating something first thing in the morning: I often wake a few times in the morning and while I at first got up and ate a banana or some yogurt, now I have just been sucking on one saltine and then trying to fall back asleep. I think it is working.I have a feeling that there is just a lot of acid in my stomach right now and that the saltine and some water calms it down.

Tums: helped. Once again I think this is due to an acidity problem.

The anti-nausea wristbands:Didn't help. I just found them painful after having them on for the whole day. I don't think they did anything besides also making my wrists hurt.

B6: I think this might be the biggest helper. I went to the pharmacy and she gave me B6. I take it three times a day. I started taking it yesterday and today I feel a HUGE change so I think it must be what is working. It is water soluble so also perfectly safe for baby and me.

The crazy thing is already after just a few hours of feeling better being in a great mood and not even really remembering how awful I felt just hours ago. I just so want everything to be OK with baby. Not being sick means more brainpower goes to worrying. Hopefully next Wednesday I see a strong heartbeat that can ease my fear for a few weeks!

The fun doesn't really start until around 6 weeks

Nausea, constipation, diarrhea, more nausea, strong hunger pains, strong gas pains, constant gas, more nausea, and of course a good dose of worrying.

These are the fun things that my last week have been made up of. Before I was the one hoping for morning sickness - "I just want to know that everything is OK" I said, " and I heard women with morning sickness have lower rates of miscarriage"

Hmmm. These are the words of someone without a clue.

I wake up miserable at 4, 5, and 6 am. I am convinced I am NOT hungry, and want only to sleep. My body is convinced otherwise forcing me to get up and eat something. And not something small like a banana that might actually allow me to stay in bed and fall back asleep. No No. Something big and time consuming like oatmeal, a fruit smoothie, a bagel. Ugh.

I spend my days forcing myself to eat, since eating every two hours is supposed to help. Why doesn't it help me then? Of course I feel worse if I don't eat for five hours but the difference between eating constantly and eating at normal meal times is negligible.

I have to force myself to get out of bed and join the rest of the world but since laying down tends to be one of the most uncomfortable positions in terms of nausea it really isn't that hard.

Right now I must admit that enjoyment would not be the first word which would come to mind when describing this pregnancy. However I woke up this morning ( I believe it was the 5 o clock wake up) and for a few minutes felt good, and what was my first reaction -absolute fear- "come back nausea, come back!" I thought. "I love you and the baby, and you can stay as long as you want just as long as everything goes OK."

But not to worry a minute later it was right there waiting for me to get up and enjoy the day.

The 5 week 5 day ultrasound

Here is the ultrasound apparently the big black thing is my full bladder LOL. The little dark gray thing is the sac and the little white thing in that is the yolk sac. It was nice to know that 20+ pregnancy tests weren't wrong and I am in fact pregnant:D

The first official appointment

We had the first appointment today and it went great. We are officially measuring at 5 weeks and 5 days. Which puts me at a due date of March 21st according to my doctor's circle of fun. This is also what I guessed due to my chart- which she -surprise surprise- actually looked at and agreed with!

The appointment was fast. She did the vaginal ultrasound said everything looked great and that I was right on target and told me to come back in two weeks. No heartbeat yet but when I asked her if that was OK she looked at me like I was crazy and told me it was too early:D She also told me to stop going on the internet because I was scaring myself and I shouldn't worry. Hubby definitely agreed with this advice!

In Germany people tend to be less interested in getting the hard facts on medical issues, their doctors tend to just tell them you're sick- take this. So I wasn't surprised that she didn't want to tell me much more then the basics of there being a sac and a yolk sac and it being on target. However it was comforting for me to see it on the monitor.

I have a picture which I will upload tomorrow. I'm starting to real enjoy being pregnant. Even though it is still so early and a million and one things could go wrong, and I feel sick to my stomach before, after and sometimes while eating, I am determined to enjoy this from beginning to end.

Week 5

Baby is probably about 5 weeks now. We will know for sure after our first U/S. I spend most of my time researching about babies and pregnancy, looking at baby products, and being terrified that something will go wrong.

Unfortunately the worries that come with the first trimester kick in pretty much immediately after getting a BFP. It is hard because internet forums bring me a feeling of connection and home here in Germany but they also make me very aware of just how many ways this can still go wrong. Thankfully, feelings of joy normally manage to overtake the worries as sometimes you just have to hope that everything will work out OK.

We were at my mom's house when we took the test so she knows. Besides her we have only told two friends, both of whom are sworn to secrecy.

We are planning on telling his parents tomorrow at breakfast. We wanted to wait until after our first appointment on Thursday but his parents will be traveling for the next few weeks so we decided to go for it now. I am very excited and hope that their response is a good one.

So far symptoms for me have mainly been peeing constantly, and having to eat a bit more often then usual.No real fatigue but I take naps when I am tired which probably makes a big difference.

I also ordered my first baby product. I will be making this counted cross stitch kit for the nursery:)

So uhm hmmm

It's been awhile.

What have I been up to?

Well...

- Visiting with friends and my mom

-Getting married again in Minnesota (we got married in Germany in December)


-Helping our parents meet for the first time

-Organizing sightseeing trips in Minnesota for the relatives and friends who came to the wedding

-Going on a two week honeymoon in Mexico

-Snorkeling

-Seeing a crocodile

-Eating great food

-Speaking very limited Spanish

-Having a great time in the heat

- Flying back to Germany

-Oh and there was this one other thing that happened on the honeymoon

8x8

8x8

The Rules:

• Mentioned who tagged you: Missy
• Complete the list of 8’s
• Tag 8 people

8 THINGS I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO:

1. Seeing my husband next week after being apart for three weeks
   
2. Having our families meet each other for the first time
   
3. Our 4th anniversary of being together on the 8th of July
   
4. Conceiving a baby
   
5. Going to Mexico for the first time
   
6. Getting married again
   
7. Spending more time with my mom before I leave
   
8. Doing some more shopping in the States
   

8 THINGS I DID YESTERDAY

1. I went shopping
   
2. I watched The Jane Austen Book Club with a friend
   
3. I went to the grocery store
   
4. I watched Army Wives which I didn't think was that great
   
5. I got to a street festival called Grand Old Day too late to do anything
   
6. I talked to my husband on Skype
   
7. Kept going through old books, toys, clothes deciding what to give, throw and keep
   
8. I went for lunch and a long walk with a friend
   

8 THINGS I WISH I COULD DO

1. See my husband this very second
   
2. Get pregnant. right now.
   
3. Have a shorter cycle
   
4. Sew and knit
   
5. Not procrastinate
   
6. Pay back all my student loans
   
7. Pay for my mom to come visit more often
   
8. Drive a manual transmission
   

8 SHOWS I WATCH

1. Law and Order CI
   
2. True Blood
   
3. The Simpsons
   
4. The Mentalist
   
5. Burn Notice
   
6. House Hunters
7. Real Housewives of New Jersey
   
8. Any cheesy chick flick movies from Lifetime, Hallmark or LMN
   

8 FAVORITE FRUITS

1. Pears
2. Apples
3. Clementines
   
4. Plums
5. Peaches
6. Kiwis
7. Raspberries
8. Strawberries
   

8 PLACES I’D LIKE TO TRAVEL

1. Japan
2. Thailand
   
3. Vietnam
   
4. Ghana
5. Curacao
6. Italy
7. Canada
   
8. Oregon and Washington State
   

8 PLACES I’VE LIVED

1. St. Paul, MN
   
2. Bremen, Germany
   
3. Hamburg, Germany
   
4. That's it!
   
5. 
   
6. 
   
7. 
   
8. 
   

8 FOLKS I’M TAGGING

1. Joelle
2. Sophie
3. Stephanie
4. Ashley
   
5. Fawyndra
6. Jessica
   
7. Lil' Woman
   
8. Fine For Now
   

Life is Wonderful.

I have been back in Minnesota for almost two weeks now and I am having an amazing time. Although there won't be a baby this cycle, spending time with friends and family who I haven't seen in more then 2 years has definitely made this a very happy time for me.

It's strange how easy it is to fall back into an old life. It is like I was never away from these women who mean so much to me and can make me laugh and cry tears of joy. It is amazing to have connections like this in my life and I hope that we never lose these bonds that we have no matter how our lives continue to change.

I posted this video from Passion Pit because I love the song and the tone is exactly how I feel right now. I am just soaking everything up and enjoying it. I am going to parties, and dancing, and not sulking about the fact that I miss my husband. We'll see each other soon but for now I am just focusing on being as present as I possibly can for these few weeks.

I am also of course still looking at every cute baby I see and thrilled with the idea that that could be me in the next year. I feel so ready and content with how life is going. Hopefully this feeling stays with me if it takes a few cycles or more to get pregnant.

In SHOCK

I am back home visiting my mom and am going through all my things sorting them into keep, give, throw. I also decided to go throw my old baby things to see if there is anything that I could perhaps use, and oh. my. gosh.

MY MOM KEPT EVERYTHING.


and



IT IS ALL AMAZING.



No joke. Gorgeous knitted items that you would pay a bundle for nowadays, gorgeous diaper covers- I am using cloth so this is incredibly perfect. Honestly this was one of the most wonderful surprises I've ever experienced. I think if we have a girl we won't have to buy a thing. I mean I still will because shopping for tiny clothes in incredibly fun but still. What a great day. So ladies make sure to check at the parent's house to see if they don't have any hidden treasures there!

I am only a quarter of a way through box number one and have already found so many gems! Of course I have also found some very cheesy eighties style items but that is part of the fun:D

Birthday!

Tomorrow my lovely, sweet, and wonderful hubby has a birthday. He turns 28. Unlike me he doesn't really enjoy getting older, he has a lot of responsibilities and he really sees it as one step closer to death. I know, I know, so depressing!

I love getting older so far every year has just gotten better and I can't wait for more. Especially considering that if we are lucky an adorable little baby will be joining us in the future.

Tomorrow is also a big holiday here in Germany. It is Christi Himmelfahrt Day (otherwise known as Ascension Day) and Fathers day here. What this means is that the men all start drinking in the morning and especially in the country and suburbs walking around in big groups with wagons full of alcohol with no real destination. Of course many ladies also join in on the fun and overall the day has a great feeling.

However I have no ideas for what we are going to do. I have his presents but since it is a holiday we can do anything we want for the whole day, and I have no clues. Any ideas what we could do together?

We will end up eating together, working out, and...... help me out ladies!:D

Getting healthy

Growing up I used to drink about 3-4 cans of pop a day. Yep that’s right pop- I’m a Midwestern girl. My mom raised me well but once I hit about 14 she let me make my own food most of the time since that was what I wanted. I was a super skinny active stick so she had next to no worries about my health. This allowed me to subsist off of nachos, pizza rolls, toaster strudels and pepsi adding in some cookies or other unhealthy treats when I felt like it.

Of course this meant that I was destined to marry someone who finds butter disgusting and who recently tried 0% fat cheese. I am sure you are all getting hungry just thinking about that.

That’s right my husband who started bodybuilding at the age of 14- not professionally but there are some pictures of him from his late teens that make me go Whoa, is a huge healthy eater. No oil, if possible no added fats, and diet everything. He still lifts weights at least three times a week and although he has thankfully moved on from his muesli and creatine days he still likes to eat incredibly healthy. So I do too. Which is OK. I mean in the long run it is great for me but I do of course still like to make a plate of nachos for myself, as I am not good at discipline and denial.

This gets me to thinking about all the things I will have to give up during the pregnancy.

Booze- ugh I don’t drink much anymore but I love German beer. It’s amazing- really. I will be sad to give it up but have thought about buying an alcohol free one if I end up getting a strong craving.

Coffee- I didn’t start drinking this until a year ago in Spain, but now I am in love. Thankfully I only drink about a cup a day, so if I start drinking half a cup every other day I think it will be fine.

Diet Coke- Uhm can I even drink any kind of coke? I am under the impression that the only thing which is OK is caffeine and sugar free- but that sugar substitutes are also bad. What I am supposed to drink? Water? Don’t answer that LOL.

Excederin- I hope I don’t get headaches like I do now. Ugh I cringe just thinking about it.

Sauna and Jacuzzi- We belong to an awesome health club that has a few of both of these and I LOVE them. I am naturally cold- like ice according to the hubby. So I actually used to use the sauna in the winter to warm me up a bit when I left the cocoon of my sleeping bag. I am hoping being pregnant makes me –normal- and that this isn’t such a problem.

Skiing- A few ski trips are planned for next year and I will be staying home for one and going Nordic skiing while the others race down the pistes for the other. I don’t mind too much about this one though-due to the whole hating being cold thing.

Smoke- I quit smoking long ago, and 99.9% of the time I don’t miss it. Unfortunately our friends like most Europeans did not get the memo that smoking is bad and dangerous for your health. A lot of bars and restaurants here didn’t get the memo either which means that some parties and gatherings with friends will be out once I am pregnant. This is of course sad for me. Thankfully we do have some good non-smoking friends who I will still be able to hang out with.

Because getting pregnant could take awhile I have decided not to cut any of it out until after ovulating each cycle and then going with my gut until a pregnancy test confirms a BFP. Are there any things you all are giving up before getting pregnant? Or things you gave up or would add to my list?

Feel Good Songs

I love dancing. Really truly love it.

I took dance lessons from 3 years up until high school and while my motivation sometimes really dwindled- who wants to spend Mon, Wed,and Sat doing ballet and jazz when they are 14? Not me. The lessons imparted a love of a good song, and a good beat and turned me into a girl who loves to go dancing till the wee hours of the morning.

As I have gotten older the late nights out have slowly dwindled- although my husband assures me that this is because I am 50 year old trapped in a young twenty somethings body- as he and his 30+ friends still regularly go out till the early hours whereas I head back home around 1 because I like my sleep too much to miss it.

But all this doesn't keep me from dancing in my living room with the music blaring. Or cleaning with the headphones on and my head in another place.

I also can't wait to dance with my kids or at least introduce them to all the music I love. Sure by the time they can really appreciate it they will think it is lame but eventually they will come around. I know it only took me until I was 19 to appreciate Joni Mitchell and understand why my mom loves her.

This song is a current favorite of mine. I've always loved Res but just recently found this track on youtube.

What are your favorite songs to listen to when no one is home and you get your boogie on?

Confession Time

I am a bit of a planner. And by a bit I mean that I once created a 23 page schedule for a week long trip to Ireland and Scotland.

It was organized by hour.

That we managed to stay together after that trip is a sign of my husband’s resilience and love. Had there not been strongholds, ancient prisons, and beautiful scenery to take away from my overbearing presence who knows if I would now be happily married.

But I learned my lesson. I no longer plan our trips; we tend to stick to all-inclusive partially for this reason. And when I do plan- Mexico in July I am looking at you. I try and stick to the absolute bare minimums- rental car, place to stay, one or two places to visit, maybe a restaurant suggestion or too, and that is it.

This has not crossed over to the pregnancy and baby world however. I have been looking forward to having a child for at least the past 2 years, and seriously wanting to start for the past year. So I can’t be blamed for having a bookshelf that looks like this.




I just thought you all should know;)

How we got Here

The music is blaring and my eyes are watering from the smoke. He reaches for his beer and I drink from mine. We have been dancing for hours and I no longer know where my friend is. Probably in a dark corner somewhere, the club is huge with lots of little dark nooks for getting to “know” others better. We however prefer the coolness that breezes by right outside the club doors. The bouncers are less impressed with our stopping point and we are forced back inside to the heat and sweat. He is unconvinced that I am 19, saying with authority- no you’re 21. Apparently 24 year olds aren’t interested in 19 year olds where he comes from. I shake my head no and he seems to accept my answer although if he will remember it this way the next day is questionable. After a very long night of dancing and drinking and very light conversation we exchange numbers when my friend shows up complaining of an upset stomach. I go home with her with the promise of meeting up for a picnic and a ride on his motorcycle on Sunday.


1 week later

We have finally connected after our first night together and this time no alcohol is involved. He picks me up on his motorcycle. I’ve never ridden on one but for some reason I am not impressed. I mean it is fine but I would just as rather ride in a car. I don’t tell him this though since he seems to expect a big reaction. We watch a movie that I will never forget Hass- Hate, he said it was “nice”. It isn’t nice. It is powerful, moving, funny, and sad. A movie I never would have picked for a first date but the man seems to be full of surprises.


3 years later

We have been living together for 2 years and life is splendid. OK the first year living with his parents was not always easy but who says life is easy. We had our own separate living quarters at his parents house but that is no comparison to the incredible flat which we now own. We live in a beautiful part of the city and I wake up every morning happy and go to sleep every night blissful. He takes me out to dinner for our anniversary and I know not to expect a proposal. We have agreed to get married but when he proposes is up to him and as he told me- proposing on an anniversary in a restaurant is cheesy. When he takes me to the roof top of a building after dinner I am still expecting nothing. When he gets down on one knee, saying that the world lies at my feet and will I be his wife, I am in shock. I am crying so hard and just saying yes over and over again. It is the most amazing night of my life. Absolutely perfect.


3 years and 6 months later

We are in a room filled with our friends and family saying our vows in Germany. We are married. It is just as nice as I expected.


3 years and 6 months and 1 day later

I want kids. Now. My husband had an inkling this would happen but he thinks Why now? Why me? Whatever happened to waiting until I am 30 in 2 years?


Right now

We are married and happy. We are also newlyweds so this is perhaps not such a great surprise. We are having an American ceremony to celebrate our wedding with my American relatives and we are also finally on our last cycle of using protection. In a few days my period will come and we will be officially trying to have a baby. Of course we will probably be on separate continents at the time but that doesn’t change the fact that we are trying to expand our family. And I am happy.