I'm sick with a cold and feeling a bit miserable- thankfully the hubby comes home tomorrow so that I can complain to someone LOL but instead of writing about that I thought I would bring up something that is probably a whole lot more interesting to everyone.
When I said I didn't care if it was a boy or girl....
I totally lied.
I really, really, really wanted a boy this time around. I just felt that I am supposed to be the mom to at least one son and really wanted a boy not only for me but also for my husband. I was secretly nervous at our big reveal appointment and when she said it was a girl I was a bit disappointed. Then our little guy changed positions and it was clear he was a boy, as further ultrasounds showed us in even more detail, and I will admit I was completely psyched.
Now I should mention that we would like three or four children and if one of them isn't a girl we will be adopting a girl because I absolutely can not imagine not having the experience of having a daughter. I need a daughter. My mom is a single parent and our bond means so much to me. Sure she drives me crazy half the time but she is also the most amazing person I know and a complete role model to me. So it isn't as though I can't imagine myself as a parent to a girl or that I don't want a girl.
It is just that this go around I really wanted a boy for some reason, and I have to admit I am not completely sure why. I think partially because I think it will be good for me. I am a girly girl who grew up with little male influence as I had no father figure in my life and no siblings. I get along great with guys and have a lot of male friends but I think having and trying to relate to a son will be a really wonderful experience for me. Not in a stereotypical way mind you- I never subscribed to the girls play with dolls/ boys play with trucks mentality but more in a getting to be a part of raising a little boy to adulthood and watching him turn into a young man with the help of my amazing husband.
So now it is out. I probably wouldn't share this tidbit at a family gathering but I don't think I am too ashamed. In fact I will even let it be known now that next time I will probably be doing everything in my power (which is admittedly and thankfully not much) to have a girl. I mean really who doesn't want at least one of each ? :D