Tired, frustrated, exhausted, depressed, at times miserable, overwhelmed, anxious.
These are a few words which describe how I felt for the first months of Teddy's life. "I'm looking forward to a break between being pregnant, nursing, and having a second. I'm excited to just focus on Teddy for awhile, and hope to space my children about 3 years apart." Was my general sentiment when it came to spacing.
Keyword: was
That's right, I the person who thought she was immune from baby fever for at least another year, am excited to try for another.
Even knowing that I could spend 4 months with the hangover from hell
(babyhangover= 1st trimester= all day and all night terrible nausea, upset stomach, and the occasional case of vomiting) and then 3 months with a ginormous stomach which causes terrible back pain and makes strangers ask if I'm having twins and when they are due, "Not for 7 weeks... thanks for the reminder." And then if I really get lucky 4 months of a colicky baby who screams, and screams, and screams, and then cries to mix it up a bit. And still I look at pregnant friends and think, "Ooh I want that!"
DH has banned all baby talk for the next 6 months.Which is A-OK. I didn't want to start trying until the end of summer anyway. This was clearly implied when I agreed to the baby talk ban.
Teddy is doing his part to ensure the speedy arrival of a new sibling by consistently sleeping through the night, and being the most awesome little boy around during the day- "Keep it up buddy!"
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Mom rivals
Theodor and I were at an open baby meet up today and one of my favorite mommy pet peeves happened...
"MOM RIVALS"
Basically this involves moms sizing each other up, treating their child like some sort of product and comparing them to show how their skillzz are in fact the best. It goes without saying that I find it ridiculous and try not to play but I will admit it is sometimes hard not to get sucked in.
I imagine some of the moms come from corporate jobs and have a strong urge to feel like they are succeeding and doing this parenting thing "the right way", whereas others were probably incredibly obnoxious before they had children and nothing much has changed. Either way it gets so tiring constantly hearing the same crap.
Oh so how is your child sleeping? Oh really? My child is sleeping through the night. Or if your child is also sleeping through the night then their child sleeps till 9 in the morning AND takes 2 two hour naps- there is always a way to be better.
Ooh are you giving your child that? My doctor said/I heard you should actually do such and such, which is of course what we are doing.
Must be said in horrified tone- oh my gosh is it OK for your child to do that/play with something plastic/stick random crap off the floor in their mouth/insert other normal child behavior here? Hmm well we are holding off on that until XYZ because we heard that is best but that is neat that you are just putting caution to the wind and letting your child do it- insert condescending smile here-
Today one mom looked at Teddy and said, "Oh gosh what happened to you little man? Look at those bruises, did you fall down? Or how did you get hurt? That looks so painful. What happened? ... (this went on for like a minute and a half and I didn't say anything he is 9 1/2 months and can't talk if she was really wondering she could address me) All said in a fake sing song voice to him as he tried to crawl away. Now of course someone could ask what happened because they were genuinely interested (which has happened and doesn't bother me in the least) but that clearly wasn't the case today. This is what I was thinking in my head but didn't say.
First off, clearly he fell, I didn't punch him in the forehead with one finger if that is what you are implying. Second off, I can't help it that your almost one year old is a lump that just learned how to sit up, and doesn't move at all. Mine does, and since we let him explore he sometimes falls down and gets bumps but doesn't seem to be bothered in the least. This does not make me a bad mother or a good one since I cannot change the person who my son is. Speaking of which your child is cute and I would never really think they were a lump but you my friend are very annoying.
Thankfully there is normally at least one other mom who seems to be on a similar wavelength but for every 1 normal, relaxed mom I feel like there are 3 uptight, condescending, annoying ones who always show up at these things.
I know this post is sort of negative and to be honest it doesn't really bother me that much but the hubby hates hearing me vent about this type of stuff since he has heard it all before so I thought I would let it out here. Don't get me wrong I know how blessed I am to stay at home and for one of my biggest pet peeves to be annoying moms at baby meet ups and not something that is serious and an actual problem!
"MOM RIVALS"
Basically this involves moms sizing each other up, treating their child like some sort of product and comparing them to show how their skillzz are in fact the best. It goes without saying that I find it ridiculous and try not to play but I will admit it is sometimes hard not to get sucked in.
I imagine some of the moms come from corporate jobs and have a strong urge to feel like they are succeeding and doing this parenting thing "the right way", whereas others were probably incredibly obnoxious before they had children and nothing much has changed. Either way it gets so tiring constantly hearing the same crap.
Oh so how is your child sleeping? Oh really? My child is sleeping through the night. Or if your child is also sleeping through the night then their child sleeps till 9 in the morning AND takes 2 two hour naps- there is always a way to be better.
Ooh are you giving your child that? My doctor said/I heard you should actually do such and such, which is of course what we are doing.
Must be said in horrified tone- oh my gosh is it OK for your child to do that/play with something plastic/stick random crap off the floor in their mouth/insert other normal child behavior here? Hmm well we are holding off on that until XYZ because we heard that is best but that is neat that you are just putting caution to the wind and letting your child do it- insert condescending smile here-
Today one mom looked at Teddy and said, "Oh gosh what happened to you little man? Look at those bruises, did you fall down? Or how did you get hurt? That looks so painful. What happened? ... (this went on for like a minute and a half and I didn't say anything he is 9 1/2 months and can't talk if she was really wondering she could address me) All said in a fake sing song voice to him as he tried to crawl away. Now of course someone could ask what happened because they were genuinely interested (which has happened and doesn't bother me in the least) but that clearly wasn't the case today. This is what I was thinking in my head but didn't say.
First off, clearly he fell, I didn't punch him in the forehead with one finger if that is what you are implying. Second off, I can't help it that your almost one year old is a lump that just learned how to sit up, and doesn't move at all. Mine does, and since we let him explore he sometimes falls down and gets bumps but doesn't seem to be bothered in the least. This does not make me a bad mother or a good one since I cannot change the person who my son is. Speaking of which your child is cute and I would never really think they were a lump but you my friend are very annoying.
Thankfully there is normally at least one other mom who seems to be on a similar wavelength but for every 1 normal, relaxed mom I feel like there are 3 uptight, condescending, annoying ones who always show up at these things.
I know this post is sort of negative and to be honest it doesn't really bother me that much but the hubby hates hearing me vent about this type of stuff since he has heard it all before so I thought I would let it out here. Don't get me wrong I know how blessed I am to stay at home and for one of my biggest pet peeves to be annoying moms at baby meet ups and not something that is serious and an actual problem!
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
How things change.
You know when people, mainly parents, say they love newborns? How they miss that newborn stage? How they can't wait to have another and just really enjoy every moment of the first months?
That is SO NOT ME.
Honestly I thought the first few months pretty much sucked. When I look back I think of them as a sort of hazing/training period to make sure you have what it takes to enjoy the good stuff which is coming.
Don't get me wrong the feelings of love and bonding that happened in those first months were incredible. But were my days fun, often enjoyable, incredibly fulfilling? Not really.
Now on the other hand, every day literally flies by... even the hard ones. I'm constantly in awe watching Theodor interact with the world around him. He is a little scientist, intensely investigating everything around him. He is so joyous! He laughs constantly at so many things- yesterday just standing holding onto a chair with me sitting besides him was enjoyable enough for him to laugh loudly for 10 minutes.
Even the new challenges are fun in their way, or at least cute to watch if I don't think about the clean up afterward. Like his recent refusal to be spoon fed and wanting to do it himself. All I can think is that my little baby is growing up and how cool is that? He is able to show me his likes by shoving a banana in his mouth, and dislikes by for example grabbing a spoon out of my hand and flinging it on the ground.
He can play by himself and I can actually get things done around the house. He can "help" me. Which may in all actuality be creating more work but looking at his proud little face when he achieves something new or his sneaky little smiles when he does something he knows he shouldn't more then make up for a few more minutes of clean up time at the end of the day.
These are the moments which make me thrilled and excited to one day try to have another, and which make me love being able to stay at home with Theodor. This is what I was looking forward to when I was waiting for my husband to feel ready to try to have a child. These recent months are what makes it easy for me to say, I love being a mother.
That is SO NOT ME.
Honestly I thought the first few months pretty much sucked. When I look back I think of them as a sort of hazing/training period to make sure you have what it takes to enjoy the good stuff which is coming.
Don't get me wrong the feelings of love and bonding that happened in those first months were incredible. But were my days fun, often enjoyable, incredibly fulfilling? Not really.
Now on the other hand, every day literally flies by... even the hard ones. I'm constantly in awe watching Theodor interact with the world around him. He is a little scientist, intensely investigating everything around him. He is so joyous! He laughs constantly at so many things- yesterday just standing holding onto a chair with me sitting besides him was enjoyable enough for him to laugh loudly for 10 minutes.
Even the new challenges are fun in their way, or at least cute to watch if I don't think about the clean up afterward. Like his recent refusal to be spoon fed and wanting to do it himself. All I can think is that my little baby is growing up and how cool is that? He is able to show me his likes by shoving a banana in his mouth, and dislikes by for example grabbing a spoon out of my hand and flinging it on the ground.
He can play by himself and I can actually get things done around the house. He can "help" me. Which may in all actuality be creating more work but looking at his proud little face when he achieves something new or his sneaky little smiles when he does something he knows he shouldn't more then make up for a few more minutes of clean up time at the end of the day.
Teddy "helping" in the kitchen.
These are the moments which make me thrilled and excited to one day try to have another, and which make me love being able to stay at home with Theodor. This is what I was looking forward to when I was waiting for my husband to feel ready to try to have a child. These recent months are what makes it easy for me to say, I love being a mother.
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