It is Thanksgiving today and this year we are doing absolutely nothing. So far I have always made a traditional Thanksgiving dinner every year here in Germany because the tradition was important to me. We have done it with different people but we have always done it but this year we are all sick and I just though ehh. Teddy is still too little to "get it" so we will skip just this one teeny weensy year and come back next year with a vengeance.
What I have been thinking a lot about however is gratitude, thankfulness, and being appreciative for what we have. I am so thankful that I grew up in a really loving family and had a spectacular childhood. However I know at the time I was not very thankful at all. I wanted lots of presents for Christmas and my birthday. I loved getting things and having things and I rarely knew their worth. It wasn't until I started working summers and part time during the school year when I turned 16 that I started to sort of "get it" but really it wasn't until much later when I had moved to Germany and was living on my own that I could ever begin to comprehend all the sacrifices my mother made for me and all the ways she made my childhood and life (even now!) so easy and wonderful.
Now some of this was due to being a kid and then a teen and having a brain which just wasn't mature and having lots of crazy hormones coursing through me. However I also tended to get things easily- my mom just wanted me to have a nicer childhood then she had had so she perhaps tended to swing in the other direction making sure I knew I was loved unconditionally not only through words and gestures but also by buying me things even when perhaps the money wasn't really all there.
Right now I am in a position to buy Teddy lots of stuff. Right now Teddy does not need or want lots of stuff but the day is coming in which this will change and he will start asking for things and I am sure I will have trouble saying no. My husband not so much :)
So we have been putting some traditions in place which hopefully will help us start on a path in which Teddy can be grateful for what he has. For his birthday he gets one gift from us, that is it. He also gets a party and all that but we think one gift is enough. For Christmas we will be doing one gift from us and a few (1-3) gifts from Santa, one of which will be a book! I should add that advents calenders are a big deal here. They are personalized, often small cloth bags, with little special gifts for each day, so he will be getting that as well.
It is hard because who doesn't love seeing their child smile or laugh in delight at receiving something but at the same time I know in the end it means much more when you have to wait a bit for it, when it isn't a done deal just by asking. I still remember not receiving a present one year for Christmas which I really wanted, Mall Madness, an amazing board game which I believe is still sold today for anyone looking for a great gift for their spouse or partner LOL. I was shocked and angry and couldn't believe it. I know my mom felt terrible but when I got it the next year you can bet I was more then thrilled and also thankful.
Besides limiting gift giving, I am planning on doing thank you cards with him,encouraging volunteering (something my mother also encouraged with me and which was such a wonderful experience throughout my school years), trying to be a good role model, focusing on reusing the things we have instead of always buying new things, getting him really involved in the home so he can more easily understand the work involved, and we will be doing an allowance once he hits 3.
What are some things you are doing to encourage thankfulness in your children? Or what were some ways your parents helped you to be grateful?
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
Family
My mom is coming to visit and I am so excited. It got me to thinking about some of the things I miss, having my mom and extended family on another continent. My mom comes from a big family and I always felt pretty close to my aunts and uncles but living here in Germany makes it hard to stay caught up and connected. Plus I miss out on a lot of fun interactions because when we do come to visit we are trying desperately to pack tons of things into just a few weeks of time.
I recently bought a sewing machine for a great price. I had one before in my teens but I only used it a few times until the needle broke and then I never touched it again. So now I have one again and don't even know how to thread it. This is the perfect example of one of those times where I wish I lived closer to my side of the family. One of my aunts is great at sewing and lots of different crafty type things and I would love to just bring my sewing machine with and have her show me the basics, and just hang out with her- she could probably even help move on from the sewing a pillow stage to actually doing something elaborate like a table runner ;) but since it will be about 4 months until I am back in my home state and there is no way I would ever bring a sewing machine in my luggage I will probably end up watching youtube help videos and hoping I don't break the thing.
Or a few weeks ago went to an awesome jewelry store with friends here. It has tons of beads, leather, stones, etc and lots of pieces already made for inspiration or purchase but the cool part is that you can pick out everything and they lend you the supplies so that you can make a bracelet or a necklace or earrings. It was such a cool store and I know one of my aunts would have loved it. It would be great to go there with her and my mom and make a day of it but that just isn't possible.
These are the little things that all add up. It is hard sometimes to not be able to have more time to spend with people that you care so much about and it is definitely one of the biggest drawbacks of living abroad. However enjoying visits from family you love is a wonderful cure for homesickness and I am looking forward to a great visit from my mom.
I recently bought a sewing machine for a great price. I had one before in my teens but I only used it a few times until the needle broke and then I never touched it again. So now I have one again and don't even know how to thread it. This is the perfect example of one of those times where I wish I lived closer to my side of the family. One of my aunts is great at sewing and lots of different crafty type things and I would love to just bring my sewing machine with and have her show me the basics, and just hang out with her- she could probably even help move on from the sewing a pillow stage to actually doing something elaborate like a table runner ;) but since it will be about 4 months until I am back in my home state and there is no way I would ever bring a sewing machine in my luggage I will probably end up watching youtube help videos and hoping I don't break the thing.
Or a few weeks ago went to an awesome jewelry store with friends here. It has tons of beads, leather, stones, etc and lots of pieces already made for inspiration or purchase but the cool part is that you can pick out everything and they lend you the supplies so that you can make a bracelet or a necklace or earrings. It was such a cool store and I know one of my aunts would have loved it. It would be great to go there with her and my mom and make a day of it but that just isn't possible.
These are the little things that all add up. It is hard sometimes to not be able to have more time to spend with people that you care so much about and it is definitely one of the biggest drawbacks of living abroad. However enjoying visits from family you love is a wonderful cure for homesickness and I am looking forward to a great visit from my mom.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
18 months
Teddy is 18 months and a few ...weeks, and I never update this blog. I love the idea of it, and I would love to streamline it, give it more of a focus, update regularly, etc. But it just isn't going to happen anytime soon. I'm not going to take it down because I think a time will come where I will be able to use this how I want to and really get an interesting dialogue going about parenting topics, life, and all of that but it probably won't be for a few months or years and until then the updates will be sparse.
But as I mentioned before Teddy is 18 months and we absolutely love him to pieces. He rocks. He is all things amazing. He also drives me crazy, and is much too big for his own good. Can a certain someone now open every single door in our flat including the front door? Oh yes he can, and does! He loves to climb and bang and stomp and hit his head against things- seriously he cracks up if he can make a loud noise hitting his head against an object.
He is a little demolition man. He seems to have little to no feeling when it comes to pain. People comment often on the fact that he barely cries when he falls down, hits his head, etc. I mean right now he has both a toe nail and a finger nail which are bit brown and bruised and I have absolutely no idea how he got them because he never made a peep about it. This might have a little to do with our, "you're fine" mentality but it is mainly just him. We of course always offer a hug if he wants one- we aren't cold robots or something but for the most part hugs/kisses/cuddles are reserved for when he is sick or tired- and this is because he wants it that way or at least that is how we have interpreted the shaking of the head and the shoves when we have gone in for an unasked for cuddle.
He babbles a lot in his baby language and has recently started saying "Nein" German for no and "Nee" German colloquial for no, both are said with a rough clear shaking of the head. These words are also now said constantly even when he means yes. 2 weeks later and it is still at the point where it is cute... how long this will last however is questionable. He understands both German and English but still chooses to selectively listen as he pleases.
He loves to help me and it is crazy how much he understands in terms of the steps taken to get to a certain final product. For example he will go to the kitchen, go underneath the sink, grab a dishwasher tab, open the dishwasher, try to put it in the spot (still wrapped of course) perhaps successfully close the little drawer for the tab, then slam the dishwasher shut and try to start it. All because he has seen me do it and understands that this is how the dishes get clean. I also have been trying to include him as much as I can. We made cupcakes and he put the cupcake foils in the tray, handed me ingredients, then made a muck of the the silverware drawer- for example.
He loves going to the Tagesmutter and the daycare at my gym. They all love him as well. Of course for them he is a little angel who almost always listens which makes me happy. I was always much better for the babysitter as well.
He eats quite OK. We've stopped offering him so many snacks and choices after seeing how much better he ate for the Tagesmutter who doesn't really offer any snacks and who keeps meals very simple but wholesome.This seems to be working much better although I am still guilty of offering a bit too much if I think he hasn't had "enough" which I know is silly but I am the first to admit that I am not perfect.
He weighs about 30 pounds and we checked how tall he was but I have already forgotten- he is tall for his age but it is proportional. I don't notice it but I don't think you really do when it is your own.
I absolutely love this age and I love him and I am really enjoying life right now. I'm thankful for Teddy and my husband and my family and everything else. Since I don't want to get too sappy I will end it there.
But as I mentioned before Teddy is 18 months and we absolutely love him to pieces. He rocks. He is all things amazing. He also drives me crazy, and is much too big for his own good. Can a certain someone now open every single door in our flat including the front door? Oh yes he can, and does! He loves to climb and bang and stomp and hit his head against things- seriously he cracks up if he can make a loud noise hitting his head against an object.
He is a little demolition man. He seems to have little to no feeling when it comes to pain. People comment often on the fact that he barely cries when he falls down, hits his head, etc. I mean right now he has both a toe nail and a finger nail which are bit brown and bruised and I have absolutely no idea how he got them because he never made a peep about it. This might have a little to do with our, "you're fine" mentality but it is mainly just him. We of course always offer a hug if he wants one- we aren't cold robots or something but for the most part hugs/kisses/cuddles are reserved for when he is sick or tired- and this is because he wants it that way or at least that is how we have interpreted the shaking of the head and the shoves when we have gone in for an unasked for cuddle.
He babbles a lot in his baby language and has recently started saying "Nein" German for no and "Nee" German colloquial for no, both are said with a rough clear shaking of the head. These words are also now said constantly even when he means yes. 2 weeks later and it is still at the point where it is cute... how long this will last however is questionable. He understands both German and English but still chooses to selectively listen as he pleases.
He loves to help me and it is crazy how much he understands in terms of the steps taken to get to a certain final product. For example he will go to the kitchen, go underneath the sink, grab a dishwasher tab, open the dishwasher, try to put it in the spot (still wrapped of course) perhaps successfully close the little drawer for the tab, then slam the dishwasher shut and try to start it. All because he has seen me do it and understands that this is how the dishes get clean. I also have been trying to include him as much as I can. We made cupcakes and he put the cupcake foils in the tray, handed me ingredients, then made a muck of the the silverware drawer- for example.
He loves going to the Tagesmutter and the daycare at my gym. They all love him as well. Of course for them he is a little angel who almost always listens which makes me happy. I was always much better for the babysitter as well.
He eats quite OK. We've stopped offering him so many snacks and choices after seeing how much better he ate for the Tagesmutter who doesn't really offer any snacks and who keeps meals very simple but wholesome.This seems to be working much better although I am still guilty of offering a bit too much if I think he hasn't had "enough" which I know is silly but I am the first to admit that I am not perfect.
He weighs about 30 pounds and we checked how tall he was but I have already forgotten- he is tall for his age but it is proportional. I don't notice it but I don't think you really do when it is your own.
I absolutely love this age and I love him and I am really enjoying life right now. I'm thankful for Teddy and my husband and my family and everything else. Since I don't want to get too sappy I will end it there.
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