Wednesday, May 2, 2012

My poor mother

I was skyping with my mother recently and she mentioned how disappointed she was that I wasn't updating this blog more regularly as during the last pregnancy she had really felt like she was a part of things, mainly due to my blogging.

While I completely understand where she is coming from, this pregnancy emotionally is just so different then the last that I don't think I will ever be able to muster up the effort to blog about it regularly. I mean so far during this pregnancy I have taken one pregnancy belly picture, about 10 weeks ago I believe- although speaking of weeks I can almost never tell you what week I am at, unless I just had a doctor's appointment, so you can see the fun belly progression of 14 weeks to..... hopefully I will manage to take one this week.
During this pregnancy I have also read exactly 0 books to get me prepared for the birth and baby, during the previous pregnancy I was probably at 30 by now. I haven't joined any special birth month pregnancy groups online, and am not really interested in doing so. I am planning on doing hypnobabies again but I don't need to start the 5 week self-study course until July and this time there is no way I would even consider starting it at week 25 like last time.

Honestly this reads as though I am not excited but I am, I am so thrilled that there is going to be another awesome little boy lighting up our lives. But this time I get to be excited about the realities which I know are coming, and I don't need to focus so much on all the possibilities. I know that I am going to have an insanely large stomach in just a few weeks so right now I love the fact that I still barely notice it now. I know that the first months will be a big adjustment so I am enjoying how easy our routine is and how much free time we both have for friends and hobbies living with our two year old right now. I know that the birth is something awesome and special but also difficult and maybe not something I want to spend months and months thinking about so I'm not.

I'm excited to have two little boys running around the house but I know that is still a ways off so I am focusing on the here and now and how enjoyable it is. I also really, really, really, REALLY love this age. 2 is awesome. Is he testing us? Sure. But is he also becoming more creative, more talkative, and overall just more of a person? Most definitely and it is so fun to watch and be a part of.

My pregnancies so far have both been easy and pretty much stress free. No diabetes, high blood pressure, trouble with position, etc. so I am really able to just sort of go on with my life as though I'm not even pregnant.... although I won't lie I miss drinking so much more than last time. I think because my nights out with the girls and with my husband and friends took on even more importance once Teddy entered our lives and going out every weekend was often unrealistic. Not that I am not still going out with friends and having fun but I definitely am looking forward to my first night out once the baby comes and I can really let loose. I also am surprised by how much I want to try for a third. We've both decided to just wait and see how it goes with two but a strong part of me really wants to go for 3, and space the last two perhaps even a bit closer together (but not closer than 2 years) so as to get the baby stage done with. Part of this does have to do with really wanting to have a daughter but at the same time even if baby number 2 had been a girl I feel pretty confident that I still would have wanted to have a third just as much, and of course I am prepared that I could have a third boy which is more than alright with me. But we'll see how I feel once the second actually arrives though!

So I'm just about 24 weeks and will try to update again before the baby comes. I won't promise more because I am guessing it isn't going to happen, but you never know.