Decisions, decisions

I'm not really a baby person. Seriously. I think they are cute and I love to snuggle with them, but then I hear that whiny wailing cry that newborns have and my back stiffens and I instinctively rush to give baby back to mom or dad. Then I think to myself, "I'm so glad that's over", and look over at Teddy pulling a picture frame off the shelf, or banging a hard object against another hard object, and smile at my toddler.

This lack of love for the baby stage is affecting my plan for ideal baby spacing. I kind of want them closer together just so I can get the whole baby baby stage over. While I know I will really enjoy breastfeeding again, and the cute tiny everything- for me it all pales in comparison to the awesomeness of a little person who is figuring stuff out and soon will even recognize himself in the mirror.Plus the whole having my body back just for me allows me to feel quite independent again which I love.

But of course it isn't all up to me anyway. Someone else has just as much involvement in the decision making process as I do, and who knows how long it will take this time. All I know is I am glad the first year goes by so quickly as I seem to love every new stage just a bit more then the last.

First Steps

I'm reading a very good and quite depressing book right now, Little Bee by Chris Cleave, and it has caused me to want to make some changes in my life. I often reflect on how lucky I am and how blessed I have been while at the same time being really lazy about working on myself and making positive changes in my life.

Procrastination is a big stumbling block for me, as is self-discipline. I've decided to stop making plans and start trying to do more and be more everyday. I realize that in all of this I really am my own worst enemy and that if I just start doing instead of worrying that I am going to see positive results almost immediately.

One of the first positive changes I have made has been the commitment to work out more so that I can stop being frustrated when I look in the mirror and start being happy about everything, including my stomach.

A second change has been the commitment to get our house cleaner and more organized. One part of this has been me putting more time into cleaning every day but another step has been buying a new washing machine and vacuum cleaner so that I feel more motivated to clean because I know my time is being used effectively and efficiently. This wasn't the case with my old vacuum- as I constantly had to take apart and clean the brush, or with our washing machine which was so small that it took 4 loads to empty our medium sized laundry hamper. No one wants to deal with a task when they know deep down it is incredibly inefficient.

Getting our flat more organized is a big task and I am trying to break it down into manageable pieces. I already have a feeling of success after tackling Teddy's room, and now I am on to one of our hallways. Hopefully I will be able to update later this week with another success story.

Getting my body back

I've lost the pregnancy weight and a few pounds more. I'm happy about that. Since it was the first baby I found it pretty easy to switch back to old eating habits and simply take in less calories then I use up. Especially since I spend most of my day lugging an almost 30 pound baby around, and we bike and walk most of the places we go.

More difficult has been getting back some muscle tone and definition. I want to look in the mirror and be completely happy with what I see. Right now my eyes glaze over when I get to the stomach area. I don't mind the stretch marks....too much... but I do mind the flabby soft skin instead of a nice flat stomach. I know with hard work and determination I can get it back to at least 90% of what it once was. Key words being hard work, determination, and discipline. Definitely not my strengths.

I'm putting it in writing here which will hopefully give strength to my thoughts. I'm going to work out, and train at least 2-3 times a week with NO exceptions. I can do this. I know I can do this. It isn't enough to want to change I have to just start doing it. I've been pretty good about working out and now I am just going to get a bit more serious about it.

I'm excited to start seeing some changes. Hopefully I will be able to update here in a few months with some great results. I'll definitely post about things that seem to make the most impact for those of you who are also trying to tone up a bit.

Room change

When we got back from vacation, I really wanted a spotless house and all the wash done. Since I knew that was clearly not going to happen, I settled on reorganizing Teddy's room. I'm really happy with the end result!

Here is how Teddy's room looked a year ago.

And here is his new "big 1 year old boy" room. It is amazing what a difference just moving the furniture around can make.