I'm sick with a cold and feeling a bit miserable- thankfully the hubby comes home tomorrow so that I can complain to someone LOL but instead of writing about that I thought I would bring up something that is probably a whole lot more interesting to everyone.
When I said I didn't care if it was a boy or girl....
I totally lied.
I really, really, really wanted a boy this time around. I just felt that I am supposed to be the mom to at least one son and really wanted a boy not only for me but also for my husband. I was secretly nervous at our big reveal appointment and when she said it was a girl I was a bit disappointed. Then our little guy changed positions and it was clear he was a boy, as further ultrasounds showed us in even more detail, and I will admit I was completely psyched.
Now I should mention that we would like three or four children and if one of them isn't a girl we will be adopting a girl because I absolutely can not imagine not having the experience of having a daughter. I need a daughter. My mom is a single parent and our bond means so much to me. Sure she drives me crazy half the time but she is also the most amazing person I know and a complete role model to me. So it isn't as though I can't imagine myself as a parent to a girl or that I don't want a girl.
It is just that this go around I really wanted a boy for some reason, and I have to admit I am not completely sure why. I think partially because I think it will be good for me. I am a girly girl who grew up with little male influence as I had no father figure in my life and no siblings. I get along great with guys and have a lot of male friends but I think having and trying to relate to a son will be a really wonderful experience for me. Not in a stereotypical way mind you- I never subscribed to the girls play with dolls/ boys play with trucks mentality but more in a getting to be a part of raising a little boy to adulthood and watching him turn into a young man with the help of my amazing husband.
So now it is out. I probably wouldn't share this tidbit at a family gathering but I don't think I am too ashamed. In fact I will even let it be known now that next time I will probably be doing everything in my power (which is admittedly and thankfully not much) to have a girl. I mean really who doesn't want at least one of each ? :D
I dont think that is something to be ashamed of really. I honestly hope with all my heart that this LO will be a girl. Mostly because in DH's family boys outnumber the girls so I'm a little fearful that this pattern will continue with us and I'll never have a daughter. So I hope that this one is a girl because then we can have all the boys we want, lol. Obviously when the baby comes we will so happy to have either one, it doesnt matter....but I will feel a bit of pressure on myself to then produce a girl the next time around.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I am not the only one:) I hope you get your girl Ruby!
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing to be ashamed of!
ReplyDeleteWhen I have kids I will be happy is they are happy and healthy but I think for the first one I would like a boy...though I would be just as happy with a liitle girl.
I was really torn with this. My husband wanted a boy and I secretly knew in my heart I wanted a girl....but it's hard to not want what your husband wants :) Now that we know it's a girl, I can relax and he is loving the idea of being wrapped around the finger of a sweet little girl :)
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